Dare Me
by Narcotic Dollie
Summary: When Sasha losses a bet to Oleander and is forced to jump into Lake Oblongata in nothing but his underwear, what will he do when the Mental Minx comes along? [SashaMilla]


Title: Dare Me

Author: Narcotic Dollie

Pairing: Sasha + Milla

Disclaimer: I don't own psychonauts or any of the characters used in this fanfiction. Except the fish. He's mine.

This was…awkward, to say the least. Sasha sat there, puffing desperately at his cigarette, eyes glued to the hand of cards before him. Again, he couldn't believe that he had let Morry talk him into this. "This is pointless," he grumbled, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Scared Nein?" the much smaller psychonaut asked, smirking smugly. "Afraid you'll lose our bet?"

"Of course not," the German man lied expertly, shuffling through his cards. "I just don't want to see you be humiliated in front of everyone, that's all." Sasha was hoping that maybe he could scare Morry into submission, that maybe he would call off the whole thing if he thought Sasha would win.

"We'll see about that," the short one snorted, slapping down his hand. "Fullhouse Nein. Beat that!"

Sasha sighed, laying down his hand, which wielded a measly pair of threes. Oleander let out a victory whoop, grinning slyly at his friend. "All right tall dark and gruesome, what's it gonna be?"

"…Umm…how about best two out of three?"

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So there he was, the great psychonaut Sasha Nein standing in nothing but his boxers (Even his 'oh-so-cool' sunglasses weren't in place! La gasp!), staring at the almost glowing green water of Lake Oblongata. He turned to see Morry grinning, motioning for him to jump in.

"No funny stuff Morry," he warned, glaring at the other. Ollie nodded, holding back a fit of laughter, still motioning for him to jump in. Sasha pinched his nose, took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and took the plunge. He had expected the water to be cold, seeing as how it was getting late in November, but he was still not as prepared as he thought he would be. Gasping he broke the surface, shivering violently.

"Alright, I finished your childish dare Agent Oleander; now give me back my clothes." Sasha blinked hard, looking around for the orange psychonaut who was no where to be found. Pulling himself up to the dock, he tried to decide whether or not to make a wild dash back to his lab, when he heard footsteps.

Panicking, he jumped back into the water, focusing his psychic energy on keeping himself invisible. He moved silently under the dock, trying to control his harsh breathing and to stop from shivering. As good of a psychic as Sasha was, he knew he could only stay invisible for so long.

"Hello?" came the Brazilian accent of one Milla Vodello. Sasha cursed mentally. Why oh why couldn't it have been Ford?

"Guess it was nothing," Milla mumbled to herself, letting her small sock clad feet dangle off the end of the dock. She picked up a rock and skipped it across the green surface of the lake. Ten minutes pass and Sasha's invisibility eventually faded, but he was under the dock and Miss Vodello had no way of knowing he was there. Another five minutes pass, and the shivering Sasha was glad to hear Milla get up to leave. Then, the unthinkable happened.

A fish bit his toe.

Now on any other occasion, Sasha probably wouldn't have overreacted like he did. In fact, he probably would have managed to not make any sound at all. However, he was suffering from the cold water, and it made him even more sensitive and jumpy than usual. So as soon as the fish bit down Sasha let out an uncharacteristic 'eep!' and jumped up so high that he bumped his head on the dock. He slapped his hand over his mouth and hoped, even though it was humanly impossible, that the woman standing on the dock above him hadn't heard.

"…Sasha darling, is that you?" she asked curiously. Sasha didn't say anything, just stood there mostly submerged, trying to not to breath. After a moment Milla hung her head over the edge of the dock, staring curiously at Sasha. "It is you! What are you doing taking a swim in November darling? You'll catch a cold!"

"…I'm not taking a swim," he admitted, feeling the heat of a blush creep up his neck, despite the cold.

"Then what are you doing?" the female psychonaut asked, raising one eyebrow as if to accent the question. "You're not taking a bath are you? There are showers in the lodge dear, you know that!"

"…I-I'm not taking a bath either…," he said, stumbling over the words and shivering viciously.

"Why don't you come out from under there? You look like your about to turn into a Popsicle!" she joked, smiling brilliantly. Sasha subconsciously noted that she looked rather silly herself, all the blood rushing to her face and the ends of her hair tickling the waters of Lake Oblongata.

"I can't come out with you there," he said, his ears burning with embarrassment. "Morry stole my clothes. I'm in my underwear."

"Are you shy darling?" Milla asked, cocking her head to the side. "I wouldn't think the psychonaut superstar Sasha Nein has anything to worry about!" After a moment, and still no movement from Sasha, her gaze sharpened. "Don't make me use Telekinesis to make you come out darling."

"Fine," he said solemnly, wading out from under the docks. Milla laughed and grabbed Sasha's hand to help him pull himself up. After he was safely on the shore, the Mental Minx blinked hard, staring at the German man's face. "What? Is there something on me?" he asked gruffly, his blush fading somewhat.

"I've never seen you with out your sunglasses," she commented, leaning in to closer inspect him. "You have beautiful eyes darling."

Sasha then proceeded to stammer, his blush returning brighter than ever. "Thank you Miss Vodello, but if you don't mind, I'd rather not be having this conversation in my underwear."

The Brazilian woman let out another small giggle, before linking her arm through his as she had done so many times before, ignoring the fact that he didn't have a shirt on. "Come on darling. Let's get you into some dryer clothes."


End file.
